30/05: 1 year, 8 months, 12 days
So long Sugar Land, y'all take care. It's been a pleasure.
Gloucestershire, start digging your bunkers. The Downtons are on their way home!
Gloucestershire, start digging your bunkers. The Downtons are on their way home!
05/03: Lost in Translation
Adult: So Jess, where is Daddy going this time?
Jess: England and Belgium and China AND (whispers conspiratorially) he's going to that place where Tinkerbell lives.
Adult: ...
Me: Daddy's going to the Netherlands, Jess. Not Neverland.
Jess: England and Belgium and China AND (whispers conspiratorially) he's going to that place where Tinkerbell lives.
Adult: ...
Me: Daddy's going to the Netherlands, Jess. Not Neverland.
03/03: That's Me In The Corner
I admit it.
I'm failing to provide my daughter with a suitable religious education.
In my defense, I'm only half of the problem. The other half of the problem is five years old, and smart. A little bit too smart sometimes. Of course, looking back the early warning signs were there. Shortly before her third birthday Jess went to a try-out session at a local playgroup. As it was nearing Christmas they fashioned crib scenes out of empty biscuit boxes and bits of straw and twigs and the insides of loo rolls. There was even a Jelly Baby to portray the Holy Child. And what, dear reader, did Smart Little Jessica learn from this? "Mummy, Baby Jesus is green".
Then there was the Easter when, after a particularly graphic re-enactment of the death and resurrection of Christ at church-led mums and toddlers group, she concluded that Jesus was a Jedi. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi, who also returned from the dead. There has been speculation since as to when and where he acquired his light sabre. Perhaps one of the Wise Men bought it, though Mary probably kept it safe for him until he was old enough to use it without accidentally chopping someone's head off.
I freely admit that I may be partly to blame for Jess's failure to grasp why people attend church. She was asked at school whether she went to church and replied that "Mummy only takes me to church when they're giving out food". I hastily explained that we had indeed been along to a special meal at the local church in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike, when most of the neighbourhood was without power. "Yes but in England we only ever went when they gave out those oranges with the candles stuck in the top" was the accompanying comment.
Anyway, with Easter on the horizon, I thought that perhaps this would be a good opportunity to set the record straight. Now, Jess likes musicals, so what better than to download Jesus Christ Superstar onto the AppleTV. Because a film made in the 70s featuring men in strange hats, loads of hippies, a bus, tanks, jet fighters, a seriously blinged Herod, a market selling machine guns and enough disco outfits to keep John Travolta going for a year or so is DEFINITELY going to clarify everything. But never mind, it has catchy tunes.
So Jess turns to me part way through one of the desert scenes and says, with a look of wonder and amazement "Mummy, is that Tatooine?"
The film did make its mark - Jess was quite tearful at the end, and when I asked why she told me that she was very sad because Jesus didn't come back to life in time to get the bus home with his friends. Aww.
She's also been singing "Crucify Him" and "Jesus Must Die" loudly. In public. A lot. Always a good way to get yourself noticed in the Bible Belt. I think we can rule out a career in the diplomatic corps.
I'm failing to provide my daughter with a suitable religious education.
In my defense, I'm only half of the problem. The other half of the problem is five years old, and smart. A little bit too smart sometimes. Of course, looking back the early warning signs were there. Shortly before her third birthday Jess went to a try-out session at a local playgroup. As it was nearing Christmas they fashioned crib scenes out of empty biscuit boxes and bits of straw and twigs and the insides of loo rolls. There was even a Jelly Baby to portray the Holy Child. And what, dear reader, did Smart Little Jessica learn from this? "Mummy, Baby Jesus is green".
Then there was the Easter when, after a particularly graphic re-enactment of the death and resurrection of Christ at church-led mums and toddlers group, she concluded that Jesus was a Jedi. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi, who also returned from the dead. There has been speculation since as to when and where he acquired his light sabre. Perhaps one of the Wise Men bought it, though Mary probably kept it safe for him until he was old enough to use it without accidentally chopping someone's head off.
I freely admit that I may be partly to blame for Jess's failure to grasp why people attend church. She was asked at school whether she went to church and replied that "Mummy only takes me to church when they're giving out food". I hastily explained that we had indeed been along to a special meal at the local church in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike, when most of the neighbourhood was without power. "Yes but in England we only ever went when they gave out those oranges with the candles stuck in the top" was the accompanying comment.
Anyway, with Easter on the horizon, I thought that perhaps this would be a good opportunity to set the record straight. Now, Jess likes musicals, so what better than to download Jesus Christ Superstar onto the AppleTV. Because a film made in the 70s featuring men in strange hats, loads of hippies, a bus, tanks, jet fighters, a seriously blinged Herod, a market selling machine guns and enough disco outfits to keep John Travolta going for a year or so is DEFINITELY going to clarify everything. But never mind, it has catchy tunes.
So Jess turns to me part way through one of the desert scenes and says, with a look of wonder and amazement "Mummy, is that Tatooine?"
The film did make its mark - Jess was quite tearful at the end, and when I asked why she told me that she was very sad because Jesus didn't come back to life in time to get the bus home with his friends. Aww.
She's also been singing "Crucify Him" and "Jesus Must Die" loudly. In public. A lot. Always a good way to get yourself noticed in the Bible Belt. I think we can rule out a career in the diplomatic corps.
It's been a bit of a roller coaster health-wise around here recently. I did start a detailed blog on the whole miserable fortnight, but there are only so many times you can write 'and then she was sick again' before your blogging muse dies of boredom. Instead, dear, gentle reader, I shall treat you to The Abbreviated Virus, hoping to bask in some sort of bizarre subliminal association with The Reduced Shakespeare Company's Fifteen Minute Hamlet.
So...
In the space of an hour:
Smallest Child, formally known as Tin Tum, throws up. Several times. In several different rooms.
Frantic mopping follows. Smallest Child deposited screaming into bath. Where she promptly throws up again. Twice.
Parents of Smallest Child slightly concerned about bump-to-head incident the previous night.
Smallest Child conveyed to Emergency Room, accompanied by Family and Bucket.
Over the next four hours:
Mother of Smallest Child finally convinces ER desk lady that lack of a Social Security number does not invalidate health insurance.
$100 extracted from purse of Mother of Smallest Child.
Smallest Child and Sibling of Smallest Child installed in Jungle Room.
Several deployments of Bucket.
Popsicle.
Bucket.
Medicine.
Bucket.
Gatorade.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Parents of Smallest Child wish they'd brought along a Bigger Bucket. And a change of clothes. Or two.
X-ray.
Bucket.
Another x-ray.
Bucket.
Juice box.
Bucket.
Injection, screaming.
Bucket.
Sleep.
Wake Smallest Child and offer crackers and unidentified red liquid.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Bucket.
250ml of I.V. fluids. No magic cream. Smallest Child can only muster a whimper in protest.
Return home.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Next few days (could have been months, sure as hell felt like it).
Food, bucket, repeat ad nauseam. Literally.
Smallest Child (the Walking Petri Dish) mutates virus into Adult Felling Form and infects both Parents. At The Same Time.
Parents compete to see who is Most Ill, and therefore gets to stay in bed. Parent with Y chromosome wins, as has Man Virus.
More buckets deployed.
Sibling of Smallest Child develops 103F fever. Dosed with Motrin, given large pile of DVDs, shown pantry and left to fend for self.
So... the Doc thinks it was probably Rotavirus. How Jess managed to escape it we don't know, but thankfully she did. I'm not sure I could have faced cleaning up after 4 pukers. Geoff and I recovered relatively quickly, but I think it's only today, 2 weeks on, that I can say that Emma is really back on form. She's certainly been making up for lost eating opportunity. She's also developed a taste for the Hard Stuff - Coke. She drank a whole can this evening while I was distracted. I'm hoping the caffeine high will wear off soon, as she's been in her bedroom bouncing on the bed and whooping for the last hour and a half.
Update:
11:15pm. Still awake. Stopped bouncing, still singing.
So...
In the space of an hour:
Smallest Child, formally known as Tin Tum, throws up. Several times. In several different rooms.
Frantic mopping follows. Smallest Child deposited screaming into bath. Where she promptly throws up again. Twice.
Parents of Smallest Child slightly concerned about bump-to-head incident the previous night.
Smallest Child conveyed to Emergency Room, accompanied by Family and Bucket.
Over the next four hours:
Mother of Smallest Child finally convinces ER desk lady that lack of a Social Security number does not invalidate health insurance.
$100 extracted from purse of Mother of Smallest Child.
Smallest Child and Sibling of Smallest Child installed in Jungle Room.
Several deployments of Bucket.
Popsicle.
Bucket.
Medicine.
Bucket.
Gatorade.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Parents of Smallest Child wish they'd brought along a Bigger Bucket. And a change of clothes. Or two.
X-ray.
Bucket.
Another x-ray.
Bucket.
Juice box.
Bucket.
Injection, screaming.
Bucket.
Sleep.
Wake Smallest Child and offer crackers and unidentified red liquid.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Bucket.
250ml of I.V. fluids. No magic cream. Smallest Child can only muster a whimper in protest.
Return home.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Bucket.
Next few days (could have been months, sure as hell felt like it).
Food, bucket, repeat ad nauseam. Literally.
Smallest Child (the Walking Petri Dish) mutates virus into Adult Felling Form and infects both Parents. At The Same Time.
Parents compete to see who is Most Ill, and therefore gets to stay in bed. Parent with Y chromosome wins, as has Man Virus.
More buckets deployed.
Sibling of Smallest Child develops 103F fever. Dosed with Motrin, given large pile of DVDs, shown pantry and left to fend for self.
So... the Doc thinks it was probably Rotavirus. How Jess managed to escape it we don't know, but thankfully she did. I'm not sure I could have faced cleaning up after 4 pukers. Geoff and I recovered relatively quickly, but I think it's only today, 2 weeks on, that I can say that Emma is really back on form. She's certainly been making up for lost eating opportunity. She's also developed a taste for the Hard Stuff - Coke. She drank a whole can this evening while I was distracted. I'm hoping the caffeine high will wear off soon, as she's been in her bedroom bouncing on the bed and whooping for the last hour and a half.
Update:
11:15pm. Still awake. Stopped bouncing, still singing.
Lots going on this week - we celebrated Chinese New Year, with the children wearing the outfits kindly provided by Our Lady In Malaysia. Lots of Chinese food - Emma ate a plateful of dumplings and had to be hoisted upstairs to bed afterwards. Jess was also delighted with the contents of her red envelope, which she has put towards the Lego pirate ship that she is saving up for.
After the relative disruption of everyday swimming last week, it was nice to get back into something of a routine. Jess is still very keen to learn, and the first thing she tells people when she meets them is "I have school at home now!" which I think is a good sign. I've got into the habit of getting work prepared the evening before so that we're ready to hit the ground running when she asks me what we can learn today. Lots of maths was done early on in the week, in fact Jess covered in three days what I had planned for us to go over in two weeks. It all seems to have gone in though, as she was busy telling me how many 10s and 1s were in various numbers when she was looking at the prices for the snacks at school. It also means that she can write any number between 1 and 100 for you now. Previously there were some numbers where the place values would get muddled. She seems very happy with the Singapore maths, not least because she's able to work through most of it unassisted.
Education City is still a big hit - I've mentioned to her about changing her up to the next level but she says she wants to get all the gold stars for Reception level first. No big deal as I can't imagine it will take her much longer at the current rate, and I'm sure there's no harm in reinforcing some of the phonic blends. We're going to have to label the wireless mice though - very confusing when we pick up each others, especially if she's sat next to me while we're working.
Lots of reading going on - Magic Tree House, Little House books, Peter and Jane 11a and b, and, err, lots of other stuff that she just wanders off and reads. She still reads to me every bedtime, before I read to her, and I think that's something that we'll keep going for some time, as we both enjoy it. Can't believe we've nearly finished P&J - we started reading them over Thanksgiving in 2007, so it's been a little over a year.
Afternoons have been spent either making the most of the gorgeous weather at the park, or constructing a replica of Tutankhamun's mask. Hopefully we'll be able to finish that this week, it's looking very good so far.
Emma is LOVING having her big sister around, and the two of them seem to be up to mischief of one kind or another most of the time. Emma is starting to talk a lot more, though I think it's only really us that understand her, and not all of the time either. She's certainly very chatty, and seems to understand everything we say to her. Conversations are gradually becoming more of a two way affair.
A couple of people have asked whether we'll be sending Emma to nursery school, but I really don't see any need to. She's very sociable and outgoing (though mostly with older children) but would also be very distressed to be separated from us at the moment. I don't see any reason to force the issue when we are all more than happy at home together for now. I may look into her attending the village playgroup for one or two mornings a week after we move back to England, but only if I think she'll actually enjoy it, rather than sob for three hours until I go back to collect her.
This weekend has been a bit of a mishmash - Geoff is working on a big presentation so I've been fully occupied with the girls, sending them in to him with food from time to time. While Emma was dozing yesterday I took Jess to the park with her bike (minus pedals and stabilisers) so that she could practice balancing on it while riding down a slight hill. Still got a bit of a right hand lean to overcome but the ratio of controlled stops to crashes is definitely improving. At least now that she has a nice light bike, rather than the old one that seemed to be made out of imploded planet, the crashes are considerably less painful.
Today the two of us ventured out to the cinema to see Inkheart, which we thoroughly enjoyed. I think we shall be reading the book at bedtime, especially as Jess is desperate to know what happens next.
There was one incident that rather marred the whole week, and left Jess very upset. I won't go into details, but suffice to say it left me very, very angry. Fortunately Jess seems to have recovered now, and is showing a real maturity in dealing with it. More power to her elbow.
Are you sitting comfortably? Now I'll begin.
The Thursday Before the Thursday Before Yesterday
Emma had her first 'dance' lesson - this mostly consisted of everyone else dancing and Emma running round the gym in excitement. Hmm. She did start to join in towards the end though, and I think she'll get into the swing of it with time. Jess has taken her Egyptology books with her, so while we waited for Emma we read about Queen Nefertiti and Jess drew some pictures for her lap book. Jess had had an hour-long swimming lesson earlier in the day and was looking very tired by the time we got home, so we changed our plans and sought out some Egypt documentaries on iTunes and watched a couple of those. Jess is really intrigued by the mystery around Nefertiti, so I think we'll be looking into that in more detail. Later on in the day we popped up to Jess's old school to catch up with friends. There was a bit of a panicked moment when I lost Emma, and mums scattered in all directions to look for her. Why we didn't think to check by the bake sale table first is beyond me, as quite frankly that child lives to eat. Sure enough, there she was, chin and fingers perched on the edge of the table. Then off to friends for Jess and Emma to play with MORE friends, so I guess we can tick the 'socialisation' box there.
The Friday Before Last Friday
More swimming, more obsession with long dead Egyptians, then off to Stomping Grounds at lunch time as the Schoolies had early dismissal. They were all turned loose for a couple of hours while I got some much needed adult conversation. Oh, and I lost Emma again, but it turned out that she was stood with her face pressed up against the glass of the chilled food cabinet, trying to will a cookie out of it with her Jedi powers.
The Weekend Before Last
Having managed to break my supposedly unbreakable glasses, we were forced to endure a trip to the Galleria to one of the few opticians in the area that stock that particular (Danish) brand. Now, on the face of it, the opportunity for a bit of retail therapy might seem quite enticing, but visiting the Galleria on a Saturday is about as much fun as visiting hell dressed in a tin foil suit. With a lemon stuck up your jacksie. Seriously. Once you've battled through the traffic, you have to endure the farce that is the car park. Here you join a seemingly endless procession of cars, circulating in the vain hope that someone might leave just as you drive past their car. Every once in a while, you'll pass the third of the car park that has been cordoned off for 'Valet Parking'. That part of the car park has hundreds of empty spaces. Eventually the two adults in the car will get so pissy with each other - "You should have turned down there, someone's just pulling out", "Oh well I'm not PSYCHIC am I?" - that you'll give in and grudgingly drive along to Valet Parking, pull up, disgorge various children and buggies from the car, and then watch is disgust as some guy in a red shirt leaps into your car and eases it a full 6 feet forward into a parking space.
Bastards.
We wandered round for a bit until we found the opticians where they swapped a teensy bit of titanium wire that forms the bridge of my glasses for $170, then sauntered off to see what else we could find. As usual, we gravitated towards the bookshop and the Apple store (which was absolutely HEAVING), then decided to call it quits and went back to retrieve our car. Mr Valet Parking didn't even bother to back it up the 6 feet out of the parking space.
"That'll be $6, sir."
Geoff hands over a $10 bill.
"I'm sorry sir, I don't have any change."
What? No change? You're seriously trying to tell us that everyone has been paying with, perhaps, a $6 bill? Or, more likely, you've been taking a $4 tip every time.
"That's OK, I'll wait while you fetch some change" said Geoff, with his best Tony Blair smile. He's such a pro, I'm so proud.
As if this wasn't enough retail punishment for the weekend, on Sunday we visited the Temple of Blue and Gold, and came back with various items with names such as SNŘT and PÜKEY, or something like that.
Last Week
Swimming, swimming and more swimming. Our car smells like a chemical factory. No sign of daughter's hair going green yet but it can only be a matter of time. Jess was uncharacteristically horrible to Emma, and earned herself a screen ban for the week, though I had to temporarily rescind it the following day so that we could watch the Inauguration of President Obama. We talked about why it was such an historic moment, and I tried to explain the role of the Vice President. I think Jess's summary - "So the president is in charge, like Mummy, and the vice president only gets to be in charge if the president is sick. Like Daddy" - is just proof of how well qualified I am to home educate my children.
Emma continued her distraction tactics by breaking into the pantry at every opportunity. I thought I had her foiled when I moved anything that might be tempting to the higher shelves, but how was I know that Bisto gravy granules are just DELICIOUS to a one year old. I tell you, once she figures out how to open ring-pull tins, we're screwed.
Jess stormed through more of the Kindergarten Singapore Maths book - she's on the B book already and at this rate she'll have finished it in another 2 or 3 weeks, so I think we'll look at moving on to Primary 1A. Apparently, maths is her favourite subject at the moment (music to her father's ears), at least until we start blowing things up in science experiments. The advantage we have is that, if she's working on some maths and wants to carry on, that's fine. She can do maths all day if she wants to, and we just pick up the other subjects another day. This has already happened quite a few times.
We made it to the library, finally reopened after Hurricane Ike blew the roof off, and collected some audio books. We also had a chat with the librarian who suggested that we might get around Jess's reluctance to try 'proper' books by reading the large print copies. We brought home Little House in the Big Woods, and Jess has had her nose in it every since, so it looks like that tactic is working nicely.
Friday was the final day of everyday swimming lessons, and Jess was promoted to Swordfish, after just 3 weeks as a Dolphin, which we were all very pleased about. I'll have to get another frame for the certificate, and add it to the pile that are waiting to be hung on her wall. After swimming we piled into the car and headed for Dallas (all those audio books came in very handy) where we had booked tickets to see the Tutankhamun exhibition.
Last Weekend
was absolutely freezing. A cold front arrived in Dallas a couple of hours after we checked in at the hotel. On Saturday we shivered our way around the stockyards in Forth Worth, saw a guy ride down the street on a longhorn, and almost got thrown out of the kids-go-free all-you-can-eat barbecue when Emma consumed several times her own body weight in pork ribs. Despite the desperate cold it really was a very interesting place, and we also picked up some Native American artwork at the market. I have no idea what was going on in Dallas on Saturday evening, but when we got back to the hotel it was full of younger versions of J R Ewing, complete with stetsons. On Sunday we trooped off to the Museum of Art for our appointment with Egyptian Antiquity. Jess was suitably fascinated, though Emma suffered an early eviction when she started her regular campaign of whooping at the resonant frequency of each gallery. Must work on her museum etiquette.
This Week
will have to wait until tomorrow.
The Thursday Before the Thursday Before Yesterday
Emma had her first 'dance' lesson - this mostly consisted of everyone else dancing and Emma running round the gym in excitement. Hmm. She did start to join in towards the end though, and I think she'll get into the swing of it with time. Jess has taken her Egyptology books with her, so while we waited for Emma we read about Queen Nefertiti and Jess drew some pictures for her lap book. Jess had had an hour-long swimming lesson earlier in the day and was looking very tired by the time we got home, so we changed our plans and sought out some Egypt documentaries on iTunes and watched a couple of those. Jess is really intrigued by the mystery around Nefertiti, so I think we'll be looking into that in more detail. Later on in the day we popped up to Jess's old school to catch up with friends. There was a bit of a panicked moment when I lost Emma, and mums scattered in all directions to look for her. Why we didn't think to check by the bake sale table first is beyond me, as quite frankly that child lives to eat. Sure enough, there she was, chin and fingers perched on the edge of the table. Then off to friends for Jess and Emma to play with MORE friends, so I guess we can tick the 'socialisation' box there.
The Friday Before Last Friday
More swimming, more obsession with long dead Egyptians, then off to Stomping Grounds at lunch time as the Schoolies had early dismissal. They were all turned loose for a couple of hours while I got some much needed adult conversation. Oh, and I lost Emma again, but it turned out that she was stood with her face pressed up against the glass of the chilled food cabinet, trying to will a cookie out of it with her Jedi powers.
The Weekend Before Last
Having managed to break my supposedly unbreakable glasses, we were forced to endure a trip to the Galleria to one of the few opticians in the area that stock that particular (Danish) brand. Now, on the face of it, the opportunity for a bit of retail therapy might seem quite enticing, but visiting the Galleria on a Saturday is about as much fun as visiting hell dressed in a tin foil suit. With a lemon stuck up your jacksie. Seriously. Once you've battled through the traffic, you have to endure the farce that is the car park. Here you join a seemingly endless procession of cars, circulating in the vain hope that someone might leave just as you drive past their car. Every once in a while, you'll pass the third of the car park that has been cordoned off for 'Valet Parking'. That part of the car park has hundreds of empty spaces. Eventually the two adults in the car will get so pissy with each other - "You should have turned down there, someone's just pulling out", "Oh well I'm not PSYCHIC am I?" - that you'll give in and grudgingly drive along to Valet Parking, pull up, disgorge various children and buggies from the car, and then watch is disgust as some guy in a red shirt leaps into your car and eases it a full 6 feet forward into a parking space.
Bastards.
We wandered round for a bit until we found the opticians where they swapped a teensy bit of titanium wire that forms the bridge of my glasses for $170, then sauntered off to see what else we could find. As usual, we gravitated towards the bookshop and the Apple store (which was absolutely HEAVING), then decided to call it quits and went back to retrieve our car. Mr Valet Parking didn't even bother to back it up the 6 feet out of the parking space.
"That'll be $6, sir."
Geoff hands over a $10 bill.
"I'm sorry sir, I don't have any change."
What? No change? You're seriously trying to tell us that everyone has been paying with, perhaps, a $6 bill? Or, more likely, you've been taking a $4 tip every time.
"That's OK, I'll wait while you fetch some change" said Geoff, with his best Tony Blair smile. He's such a pro, I'm so proud.
As if this wasn't enough retail punishment for the weekend, on Sunday we visited the Temple of Blue and Gold, and came back with various items with names such as SNŘT and PÜKEY, or something like that.
Last Week
Swimming, swimming and more swimming. Our car smells like a chemical factory. No sign of daughter's hair going green yet but it can only be a matter of time. Jess was uncharacteristically horrible to Emma, and earned herself a screen ban for the week, though I had to temporarily rescind it the following day so that we could watch the Inauguration of President Obama. We talked about why it was such an historic moment, and I tried to explain the role of the Vice President. I think Jess's summary - "So the president is in charge, like Mummy, and the vice president only gets to be in charge if the president is sick. Like Daddy" - is just proof of how well qualified I am to home educate my children.
Emma continued her distraction tactics by breaking into the pantry at every opportunity. I thought I had her foiled when I moved anything that might be tempting to the higher shelves, but how was I know that Bisto gravy granules are just DELICIOUS to a one year old. I tell you, once she figures out how to open ring-pull tins, we're screwed.
Jess stormed through more of the Kindergarten Singapore Maths book - she's on the B book already and at this rate she'll have finished it in another 2 or 3 weeks, so I think we'll look at moving on to Primary 1A. Apparently, maths is her favourite subject at the moment (music to her father's ears), at least until we start blowing things up in science experiments. The advantage we have is that, if she's working on some maths and wants to carry on, that's fine. She can do maths all day if she wants to, and we just pick up the other subjects another day. This has already happened quite a few times.
We made it to the library, finally reopened after Hurricane Ike blew the roof off, and collected some audio books. We also had a chat with the librarian who suggested that we might get around Jess's reluctance to try 'proper' books by reading the large print copies. We brought home Little House in the Big Woods, and Jess has had her nose in it every since, so it looks like that tactic is working nicely.
Friday was the final day of everyday swimming lessons, and Jess was promoted to Swordfish, after just 3 weeks as a Dolphin, which we were all very pleased about. I'll have to get another frame for the certificate, and add it to the pile that are waiting to be hung on her wall. After swimming we piled into the car and headed for Dallas (all those audio books came in very handy) where we had booked tickets to see the Tutankhamun exhibition.
Last Weekend
was absolutely freezing. A cold front arrived in Dallas a couple of hours after we checked in at the hotel. On Saturday we shivered our way around the stockyards in Forth Worth, saw a guy ride down the street on a longhorn, and almost got thrown out of the kids-go-free all-you-can-eat barbecue when Emma consumed several times her own body weight in pork ribs. Despite the desperate cold it really was a very interesting place, and we also picked up some Native American artwork at the market. I have no idea what was going on in Dallas on Saturday evening, but when we got back to the hotel it was full of younger versions of J R Ewing, complete with stetsons. On Sunday we trooped off to the Museum of Art for our appointment with Egyptian Antiquity. Jess was suitably fascinated, though Emma suffered an early eviction when she started her regular campaign of whooping at the resonant frequency of each gallery. Must work on her museum etiquette.
This Week
will have to wait until tomorrow.
Wow, has it been a week already?
Tuesday was pretty much the same as Monday, with more games playing thrown in. I was comprehensively thrashed at Junior Monopoly (luck), Sorry! (luck) and Blokus (drat, she's spotted my tactic). I'm tempted to get Carcassonne as I think she might be able to grasp that.
Wednesday and Thursday were in much the same vein, with the added excitement of morning swimming lessons. Jess got her Float Test and Goldfish ribbons just before Christmas, and has moved up to the Dolphin class, so is working on proper stroke technique now. Once I'd got over the shock of dragging ourselves out of the house early, I started to see some of the benefits not being at school. When we used to go to swimming lessons after school, there would be between 30 and 40 children in the pool. Early morning session? Between 4 and 6 children. Plus Emma gets the run of the observation room without me having to reprimand her for locking the other children out of the wendy house.
I did have a bit of a panic on Thursday when my computer started to exhibit some very odd behaviour - whizzing windows to the side of the screen then back again, cursor all over the place, stock quotes and weather reports popping up and down - which was resolved when I found Emma driving the wireless Mighty Mouse round the wooden railway track in the next room.
On Friday I decided we all needed to get out of the house for some fresh air so we went down to Brazos Bend State Park for some alligator spotting. We visited the nature centre, and had a close up encounter with a tarantula there. Emma was quite interested and even volunteered to touch it, at which point I thought that Jess would pass out from the sheer terror of it all. She has a very instinctive fear of spiders that we first saw when she was very young on a trip to @Bristol. Spider skin? No reaction. Live but motionless spider? Petrified. Ah well. There was also a tank of baby alligators, and numerous bits of turtle / armadillo / snakeskin / wasps nest / alligator jaw / crawfish to handle. Absolutely fascinating, and led to some good questions as well. The Ranger we spoke to made the fatal mistake of telling Jess that he'd been to London once, which of course was her cue to launch into her lecture series on the plague / fire of London / blitz. Actually, I was secretly rather impressed by how much she knew, and the Ranger was good enough to ask her lots of questions, which she thoroughly enjoyed answering.
You can find acorns the size of eggs at Brazos Bend. Well, it is Texas, after all.
Once we'd finished there we walked round the lake to see what we could see - Hurricane Ike knocked a lot of the older trees down and it seems to have changed the lake dynamics a bit. The first lake was teeming with alligators, though they were staying in the water rather than draped across the footpath in their usual fashion. We saw fewer on the main lake, but there were plenty of turtles around, and we did get to see a few gators swimming about. Usually they are content to sunbath, but it wasn't a particularly warm day.
The weekend was mostly just exhausting - with Geoff having been since before the New Year I was in desperate need of a lie in (which means getting up at around 7:30am in this house) but alas my children had other ideas. Jess has decided that she wants to save up for a Lego pirate ship, and so we came up with a list of things she can do to earn some money. She can earn a quarter for stripping all the beds (mean or what), so she'll only have to do that another 399 times until she has enough cash.
Yesterday Jess started the first of her Everyday swim classes, which means that every week day for the next two weeks we will be arriving at the swimming club bright eyed (yeah, right) at 9:30am. I know from experience that the novelty of this wears off for the parent somewhere around Thursday of the first week. However, the gain is worth the pain, and because Jess's class is at a time when most kids her age are in school, she ends up getting a private lesson every day. After swimming we got some more handwriting done - I really thought she may have started to revolt by now, with the introduction of the cursive s, but she's sticking with it and still (mostly) says she enjoys it. She's started to write her name in cursive without any prompting, and I think it really looks pretty good for someone who only turned 5 a couple of weeks ago. The middle of the day got a bit lost, though we did manage to bake a fruit cake (which is edible, but looks more like a giant rock cake than a fruit cake) and did some more reading. She spent some time on Education City, though I think we still haven't quite sorted out the right level there. Certainly I need to move her up from Reception level for literacy, and probably for maths as well.
Emma came up with an all new distraction technique - let's just saying that having to follow little brown footprints around the house to find the nappy-less one year old doesn't rate as my favourite activity. Luckily she confined herself to downstairs, which is almost all hard floors. I have no idea how we coped before we moved to America and discovered Clorox wipes.
Today we were more organised and managed to fit in some handwriting practice before swimming. After swimming we dashed home and Jess managed to work through another chapter of Singapore Maths while Emma was asleep. She also polished of some more Peter and Jane, though this book didn't feature Peter and Jane at all. Thankfully we've finally gone beyond Peter climbing trees, and onto the 'adventure' books. Given her enthusiasm for 10b: Adventure at the Castle, I may need to try and track down some Famous Five books. We're also finishing off the Hooked on Phonics 2nd grade box - the books are very easy for her to read now, but I think we are getting some value from seeing the phoneme blends so explicitly. There's also been a lot of Magic Faraway Tree reading going on, and I think the penny has finally dropped that she CAN read books that don't have pictures on every page. She still doesn't read silently, but I think that will come soon. I haven't said anything about it, so it may not even have dawned on her NOT to read out loud yet.
By the time Emma woke up we were all famished, so dashed off to McNasties for a junk food treat and to let off some energy. I must remember to take my iPod touch next time and take advantage of the free wi-fi while my children terrorise play with the other kids. Jess made friends with some 7 year old Vietnamese triplets who didn't speak a word of English, though that didn't seem to matter as they all understood the International Language of Kid. I did giggle when I overheard another child telling them that they would all have to be on the 'B team', to which Jess nonchalantly replied over her shoulder that that was OK as everyone knows that B stands for Brilliant anyway.
When the children were worn out (and Emma's incessant begging for food from the other tables had become too embarrassing to bear any longer) we headed back and polished off a maths facts sheet, and the girls did some drawing until our return trip to the bike shop. This time they had the size we needed, in the colour that Jess desired, so she came home with a new bike (once we'd persuaded her to part with it for long enough for me to load it into the car). It only has a coaster brake, so we'll be taking it back in a few days to have a pull brake fitted when it arrives in the store. The new bike is a huge improvement on the old one, which was heavier than mine, and, well, just cheap and rubbish and built for people with very odd body geometry indeed. I have a feeling it may have been made out of imploded planet.
Tuesday was pretty much the same as Monday, with more games playing thrown in. I was comprehensively thrashed at Junior Monopoly (luck), Sorry! (luck) and Blokus (drat, she's spotted my tactic). I'm tempted to get Carcassonne as I think she might be able to grasp that.
Wednesday and Thursday were in much the same vein, with the added excitement of morning swimming lessons. Jess got her Float Test and Goldfish ribbons just before Christmas, and has moved up to the Dolphin class, so is working on proper stroke technique now. Once I'd got over the shock of dragging ourselves out of the house early, I started to see some of the benefits not being at school. When we used to go to swimming lessons after school, there would be between 30 and 40 children in the pool. Early morning session? Between 4 and 6 children. Plus Emma gets the run of the observation room without me having to reprimand her for locking the other children out of the wendy house.
I did have a bit of a panic on Thursday when my computer started to exhibit some very odd behaviour - whizzing windows to the side of the screen then back again, cursor all over the place, stock quotes and weather reports popping up and down - which was resolved when I found Emma driving the wireless Mighty Mouse round the wooden railway track in the next room.
On Friday I decided we all needed to get out of the house for some fresh air so we went down to Brazos Bend State Park for some alligator spotting. We visited the nature centre, and had a close up encounter with a tarantula there. Emma was quite interested and even volunteered to touch it, at which point I thought that Jess would pass out from the sheer terror of it all. She has a very instinctive fear of spiders that we first saw when she was very young on a trip to @Bristol. Spider skin? No reaction. Live but motionless spider? Petrified. Ah well. There was also a tank of baby alligators, and numerous bits of turtle / armadillo / snakeskin / wasps nest / alligator jaw / crawfish to handle. Absolutely fascinating, and led to some good questions as well. The Ranger we spoke to made the fatal mistake of telling Jess that he'd been to London once, which of course was her cue to launch into her lecture series on the plague / fire of London / blitz. Actually, I was secretly rather impressed by how much she knew, and the Ranger was good enough to ask her lots of questions, which she thoroughly enjoyed answering.
You can find acorns the size of eggs at Brazos Bend. Well, it is Texas, after all.
Once we'd finished there we walked round the lake to see what we could see - Hurricane Ike knocked a lot of the older trees down and it seems to have changed the lake dynamics a bit. The first lake was teeming with alligators, though they were staying in the water rather than draped across the footpath in their usual fashion. We saw fewer on the main lake, but there were plenty of turtles around, and we did get to see a few gators swimming about. Usually they are content to sunbath, but it wasn't a particularly warm day.
The weekend was mostly just exhausting - with Geoff having been since before the New Year I was in desperate need of a lie in (which means getting up at around 7:30am in this house) but alas my children had other ideas. Jess has decided that she wants to save up for a Lego pirate ship, and so we came up with a list of things she can do to earn some money. She can earn a quarter for stripping all the beds (mean or what), so she'll only have to do that another 399 times until she has enough cash.
Yesterday Jess started the first of her Everyday swim classes, which means that every week day for the next two weeks we will be arriving at the swimming club bright eyed (yeah, right) at 9:30am. I know from experience that the novelty of this wears off for the parent somewhere around Thursday of the first week. However, the gain is worth the pain, and because Jess's class is at a time when most kids her age are in school, she ends up getting a private lesson every day. After swimming we got some more handwriting done - I really thought she may have started to revolt by now, with the introduction of the cursive s, but she's sticking with it and still (mostly) says she enjoys it. She's started to write her name in cursive without any prompting, and I think it really looks pretty good for someone who only turned 5 a couple of weeks ago. The middle of the day got a bit lost, though we did manage to bake a fruit cake (which is edible, but looks more like a giant rock cake than a fruit cake) and did some more reading. She spent some time on Education City, though I think we still haven't quite sorted out the right level there. Certainly I need to move her up from Reception level for literacy, and probably for maths as well.
Emma came up with an all new distraction technique - let's just saying that having to follow little brown footprints around the house to find the nappy-less one year old doesn't rate as my favourite activity. Luckily she confined herself to downstairs, which is almost all hard floors. I have no idea how we coped before we moved to America and discovered Clorox wipes.
Today we were more organised and managed to fit in some handwriting practice before swimming. After swimming we dashed home and Jess managed to work through another chapter of Singapore Maths while Emma was asleep. She also polished of some more Peter and Jane, though this book didn't feature Peter and Jane at all. Thankfully we've finally gone beyond Peter climbing trees, and onto the 'adventure' books. Given her enthusiasm for 10b: Adventure at the Castle, I may need to try and track down some Famous Five books. We're also finishing off the Hooked on Phonics 2nd grade box - the books are very easy for her to read now, but I think we are getting some value from seeing the phoneme blends so explicitly. There's also been a lot of Magic Faraway Tree reading going on, and I think the penny has finally dropped that she CAN read books that don't have pictures on every page. She still doesn't read silently, but I think that will come soon. I haven't said anything about it, so it may not even have dawned on her NOT to read out loud yet.
By the time Emma woke up we were all famished, so dashed off to McNasties for a junk food treat and to let off some energy. I must remember to take my iPod touch next time and take advantage of the free wi-fi while my children
When the children were worn out (and Emma's incessant begging for food from the other tables had become too embarrassing to bear any longer) we headed back and polished off a maths facts sheet, and the girls did some drawing until our return trip to the bike shop. This time they had the size we needed, in the colour that Jess desired, so she came home with a new bike (once we'd persuaded her to part with it for long enough for me to load it into the car). It only has a coaster brake, so we'll be taking it back in a few days to have a pull brake fitted when it arrives in the store. The new bike is a huge improvement on the old one, which was heavier than mine, and, well, just cheap and rubbish and built for people with very odd body geometry indeed. I have a feeling it may have been made out of imploded planet.
Today was the first day back to school. But not for us!
For all sorts of reasons, not least that Jess's isn't legal school age here, we've decided to take her out of school for the remainder of her time here and teach her at home. This should give her more time to Be A Kid, and hopefully will also enable us to see a bit more of the country before we go back to the UK in the summer.
Today went very well - in that new exercise books / new school year kind of way. Jess woke up early (which would have been lovely if I hadn't been up until silly o'clock trying to convince our printer to stop printing everything with a slant and only two pages at a time) and came bounding in saying "Can we start yet? Can I start now? Can I do something before breakfast? What are we going to do today? Are we going to do some maths?" etc etc. I have a sneaky suspicion that the enthusiasm may wear off by the end of the week, but we'll see.
We got quite a bit done - more than I had (very loosely) planned for the day in fact. Jess has decided that she'd like to learn 'twirly words' which I eventually discovered meant cursive handwriting (or joined-up if you're British). We're going with a simple UK cursive, which seems to be the same one I learned at primary school, because (a) it's a hell of a lot easier than the standard US cursive script and (b) unlike the US version, I can actually read it. For a start,uppercase G looks like a G, rather than a deformed Y. To be honest, I thought Jess would take one look at it and decide it was too hard, but we started off with l, i and t, as they're nice and easy to form, and she declared that 'twirly words' are "much more fun, Mummy". We'll stick with it and see how we go. There may be mutiny when we get to s. Who knows, she might even earn her Berol Handwriting Pen before we school again in September. Anyone else remember those?
The hardest part of trying to teach Jess at home is keeping Emma occupied. She wants to do whatever her big sister is doing, including sitting in the same chair. We just about muddled through today, but I think I may need to rearrange things a little to if I'm going to have any chance of keeping my sanity. Thankfully she still takes a nap during the day, which gives us some time to work on any of the really tricky stuff uninterrupted. We worked through some number bonds (fancy word for sums), and while I was catching up with my ablutions Jess impressed me by digging out a reading comprehension book and working through the first three pages on her own. Jess played on her Leapster (some game that involves set theory) and then thrashed me hollow at Monopoly Junior, which she approaches in a rather mercenary fashion. We got a few board games for Christmas and she's been particularly enjoying Monopoly, Sorry (she never is, though) and Blokus.
By the time we'd done all of that there was just time to nip out and buy some food before ballet, then back home to help me cook chicken paprikash from her new cook book.
We'll gloss over the huge melt down at the dinner table then, shall we? Anyway, I think we're friends again now.
Tomorrow we want to make a start on the Ancient Egypt project - if I can find that Eyewtiness book that I know is around somewhere...
For all sorts of reasons, not least that Jess's isn't legal school age here, we've decided to take her out of school for the remainder of her time here and teach her at home. This should give her more time to Be A Kid, and hopefully will also enable us to see a bit more of the country before we go back to the UK in the summer.
Today went very well - in that new exercise books / new school year kind of way. Jess woke up early (which would have been lovely if I hadn't been up until silly o'clock trying to convince our printer to stop printing everything with a slant and only two pages at a time) and came bounding in saying "Can we start yet? Can I start now? Can I do something before breakfast? What are we going to do today? Are we going to do some maths?" etc etc. I have a sneaky suspicion that the enthusiasm may wear off by the end of the week, but we'll see.
We got quite a bit done - more than I had (very loosely) planned for the day in fact. Jess has decided that she'd like to learn 'twirly words' which I eventually discovered meant cursive handwriting (or joined-up if you're British). We're going with a simple UK cursive, which seems to be the same one I learned at primary school, because (a) it's a hell of a lot easier than the standard US cursive script and (b) unlike the US version, I can actually read it. For a start,uppercase G looks like a G, rather than a deformed Y. To be honest, I thought Jess would take one look at it and decide it was too hard, but we started off with l, i and t, as they're nice and easy to form, and she declared that 'twirly words' are "much more fun, Mummy". We'll stick with it and see how we go. There may be mutiny when we get to s. Who knows, she might even earn her Berol Handwriting Pen before we school again in September. Anyone else remember those?
The hardest part of trying to teach Jess at home is keeping Emma occupied. She wants to do whatever her big sister is doing, including sitting in the same chair. We just about muddled through today, but I think I may need to rearrange things a little to if I'm going to have any chance of keeping my sanity. Thankfully she still takes a nap during the day, which gives us some time to work on any of the really tricky stuff uninterrupted. We worked through some number bonds (fancy word for sums), and while I was catching up with my ablutions Jess impressed me by digging out a reading comprehension book and working through the first three pages on her own. Jess played on her Leapster (some game that involves set theory) and then thrashed me hollow at Monopoly Junior, which she approaches in a rather mercenary fashion. We got a few board games for Christmas and she's been particularly enjoying Monopoly, Sorry (she never is, though) and Blokus.
By the time we'd done all of that there was just time to nip out and buy some food before ballet, then back home to help me cook chicken paprikash from her new cook book.
We'll gloss over the huge melt down at the dinner table then, shall we? Anyway, I think we're friends again now.
Tomorrow we want to make a start on the Ancient Egypt project - if I can find that Eyewtiness book that I know is around somewhere...
28/12: It's Christmas Magic
Christmas was a little unconventional this year - for a start we made a very last minute decision to break with tradition and have the big feast on Christmas Eve. The rationale wouldn't be desperate to leave the table and play with newly opened presents, and that I wouldn't have to spend hours stuck in the kitchen when I could be playing with the new toys spending the day with the family.
Well, it worked a treat. Christmas (Eve) dinner was made and scoffed, and turned out to be a great success even without Aunt Bessie to lend assistance with the roast potatoes, yorkshire puddings and parsnips. I'd even go as far to say that I excelled myself in the kitchen (a rare event) and produced perfect roast tatties and parsnips for the first time ever. Even the sprouts were delicious (and as a former fully paid up member of the Sprout Haters Society I don't say that lightly). Children were stuffed to bursting point, and sent to bed in a highly excitable state, having first left out various goodies for Santa and the reindeer.
The following morning we were woken to the dulcit tones of FWEEEP! FWEEEEP! FWEEEEEEEEEEEEP! from the 'My First Recorder' that Santa had so generously placed in Emma's stocking. The chocolate snowmen went down well too, though I think they'd have made a little less mess if Emma had been able to remove the foil before eating, rather than just sucking the whole thing into a molten glob to extract the chocolate.
Santa was more than generous with the gifts under the tree. Jess couldn't wait to rip the paper from hers, while Emma took a more relaxed approach, playing for a while with each newly opened gift. We were well into the afternoon before she'd finished opening all of hers. Santa was more than generous with gadgets and games and toys for all. He even set me a certificate, good for a new wedding ring to replace the one I lost back in April. I was very upset about it at the time, knowing that nothing could ever really replace the original. But ah well.
The afternoon was spent assembling Playmobil, watching DVDs, setting up gadgets, scoffing more food, assembling the light saber and refereeing as the children pursued each other around the house on the car and scooter. Highly prized chocolate oranges were tapped, unwrapped and gobbled greedily. I'm particularly looking forward to assembling some of the guns featured in my new Forbidden Lego book.
Then, while Geoff and I were dismantling some furniture to move it upstairs (what? doesn't EVERYONE decide to shuffle the furniture on Christmas Day?), Geoff found my wedding ring, sandwiched between the bed frame and the mattress. A little bit of Christmas magic.
Well, it worked a treat. Christmas (Eve) dinner was made and scoffed, and turned out to be a great success even without Aunt Bessie to lend assistance with the roast potatoes, yorkshire puddings and parsnips. I'd even go as far to say that I excelled myself in the kitchen (a rare event) and produced perfect roast tatties and parsnips for the first time ever. Even the sprouts were delicious (and as a former fully paid up member of the Sprout Haters Society I don't say that lightly). Children were stuffed to bursting point, and sent to bed in a highly excitable state, having first left out various goodies for Santa and the reindeer.
The following morning we were woken to the dulcit tones of FWEEEP! FWEEEEP! FWEEEEEEEEEEEEP! from the 'My First Recorder' that Santa had so generously placed in Emma's stocking. The chocolate snowmen went down well too, though I think they'd have made a little less mess if Emma had been able to remove the foil before eating, rather than just sucking the whole thing into a molten glob to extract the chocolate.
Santa was more than generous with the gifts under the tree. Jess couldn't wait to rip the paper from hers, while Emma took a more relaxed approach, playing for a while with each newly opened gift. We were well into the afternoon before she'd finished opening all of hers. Santa was more than generous with gadgets and games and toys for all. He even set me a certificate, good for a new wedding ring to replace the one I lost back in April. I was very upset about it at the time, knowing that nothing could ever really replace the original. But ah well.
The afternoon was spent assembling Playmobil, watching DVDs, setting up gadgets, scoffing more food, assembling the light saber and refereeing as the children pursued each other around the house on the car and scooter. Highly prized chocolate oranges were tapped, unwrapped and gobbled greedily. I'm particularly looking forward to assembling some of the guns featured in my new Forbidden Lego book.
Then, while Geoff and I were dismantling some furniture to move it upstairs (what? doesn't EVERYONE decide to shuffle the furniture on Christmas Day?), Geoff found my wedding ring, sandwiched between the bed frame and the mattress. A little bit of Christmas magic.
Jess: I'd really like to go to the North Pole. Tonight.
Me: Oh yes? How would you get there?
Jess: On the Polar Express. It only goes there on Christmas Eve. Maybe it's my turn to go this year.
Me: ...
Jess: I really *do* want to go.
Me: ...
Jess: Do you think I'll get to go this year? I don't think Emma can go yet, she's too little.
Me: Maybe. I wonder how they choose which children go?
Jess: I think you have to need to go. The boy needed to go because he'd nearly stopped believing in Santa. And the other boy needed to go because he didn't get any presents.
Me: Do you need to go?
Jess: I think I need to go before I'm five. Because five is quite old. Perhaps everyone gets a turn. I'm nearly five already.
Me: I'm not sure. It's just one train, and there are millions and millions of children, and just one night.
Jess: I think about twenty children can go on the train. That means my whole class could go. Hey, maybe that's what will happen! Maybe my whole class are going to go this year!
Me: You'll have to wait and see.
Jess: If they only take twenty children to the North Pole every year, that's not very many.
Jess: ...
Jess: I don't think everyone *does* gets a turn. So I might not get a turn. I wish I *could* go.
Me: I think you're probably right.
Jess: But it still *might* be my turn this year, maybe, don't you think?
Me: Yes, it might. Night night Jess.
Jess: Night night Mummy.
Me: Oh yes? How would you get there?
Jess: On the Polar Express. It only goes there on Christmas Eve. Maybe it's my turn to go this year.
Me: ...
Jess: I really *do* want to go.
Me: ...
Jess: Do you think I'll get to go this year? I don't think Emma can go yet, she's too little.
Me: Maybe. I wonder how they choose which children go?
Jess: I think you have to need to go. The boy needed to go because he'd nearly stopped believing in Santa. And the other boy needed to go because he didn't get any presents.
Me: Do you need to go?
Jess: I think I need to go before I'm five. Because five is quite old. Perhaps everyone gets a turn. I'm nearly five already.
Me: I'm not sure. It's just one train, and there are millions and millions of children, and just one night.
Jess: I think about twenty children can go on the train. That means my whole class could go. Hey, maybe that's what will happen! Maybe my whole class are going to go this year!
Me: You'll have to wait and see.
Jess: If they only take twenty children to the North Pole every year, that's not very many.
Jess: ...
Jess: I don't think everyone *does* gets a turn. So I might not get a turn. I wish I *could* go.
Me: I think you're probably right.
Jess: But it still *might* be my turn this year, maybe, don't you think?
Me: Yes, it might. Night night Jess.
Jess: Night night Mummy.
