Yesterday Jess decided to help me tidy up. She neatly arranged all my bank cards, attaching them to the whiteboard with good, sturdy magnets.
Today she swallowed one of the balls from her Magnetix set.
Roll on Friday...
Today she swallowed one of the balls from her Magnetix set.
Roll on Friday...
19/10: Mafiosa
Small People, just like us Big People, are prone to becoming a little Tired and Emotional. The big difference is that when a Small Person is Tired and Emtional, they behave in exactly the way that we'd like to behave, but wouldn't dare to.The other day was One Of Those Days. We managed to get through most of the day fairly easily, until tea time, when I made a fatal mistake.
I didn't put Jess's mug of milk in the microwave to take the chill off it.
This was The End Of The World.
Before my eyes, she turned into some sort of crazed, head spinning, screaming, stroppy, tantrum throwing lunatic. Nothing could be done to placate her, so I took the only remaining legal course of action, and shutting the dining room door behind firmly behind me, went to find a quieter room until she had finished.
Around half an hour later she realised that no amount of screaming was going to get me back into the room, so she quietened down and came out. An uneasy truce was established (as I could see that she was likely to erupt again as soon as anything out of the normal routine happened) and with a lot of patience, counting to 10 in my head, and tongue biting, she was eventually in bed and snoring.
"Hurrah!" I thought to myself. "A victory has been won for parentkind! We shall prevail against the foe that is the stroppy two year old!" and feeling very pleased with myself I went to bed
.
.
.
where I pulled back the duvet
.
.
.
and found this.
I didn't put Jess's mug of milk in the microwave to take the chill off it.
This was The End Of The World.
Before my eyes, she turned into some sort of crazed, head spinning, screaming, stroppy, tantrum throwing lunatic. Nothing could be done to placate her, so I took the only remaining legal course of action, and shutting the dining room door behind firmly behind me, went to find a quieter room until she had finished.
Around half an hour later she realised that no amount of screaming was going to get me back into the room, so she quietened down and came out. An uneasy truce was established (as I could see that she was likely to erupt again as soon as anything out of the normal routine happened) and with a lot of patience, counting to 10 in my head, and tongue biting, she was eventually in bed and snoring.
"Hurrah!" I thought to myself. "A victory has been won for parentkind! We shall prevail against the foe that is the stroppy two year old!" and feeling very pleased with myself I went to bed
.
.
.
where I pulled back the duvet
.
.
.
and found this.
13/10: The Birth Order of Children
I don't usually blog this sort of thing, but Andy sent me this the other day and I'm still giggling over it now.
The thing that really worries me is that, for the postnatal stuff, I seem to have reached 2nd and 3rd baby levels with Jess. Her sibling-to-be doesn't stand a chance.
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little chest of drawers.2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Dummy
1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Nappies
1st baby: You change your baby's nappies every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a favourite)
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his pocket money!
The thing that really worries me is that, for the postnatal stuff, I seem to have reached 2nd and 3rd baby levels with Jess. Her sibling-to-be doesn't stand a chance.
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little chest of drawers.2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Dummy
1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Nappies
1st baby: You change your baby's nappies every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a favourite)
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his pocket money!
Make sure your child is adequately supervised when they dress themselves for bed.
27/06: How Not To Dress Your Child
As the weather has been rather warm recently, I took Jess shopping for some summer jimjams. We managed to find a pair that she liked and returned home triumphant. She was determined to wear them that night, so I put them in her room in readiness.
Geoff was on bath and bedtime duty that night. Usually Jess is so tired by the end of the day that she's quite happy to get into her jimjams ready for bed, so I was surprised by the fuss she was kicking up. As it seemed to be getting a little out of control I decided to go upstairs and lend some moral support.
Now, when you buy shortie jimjams for little girls, they come with long tape loops sticted into the shorts so that they can be displayed nicely on the hanger in the shop. These loops serve no other purpose - least of all as handy braces to be hooked over your child's shoulders to stop the shorts falling down.
Geoff was on bath and bedtime duty that night. Usually Jess is so tired by the end of the day that she's quite happy to get into her jimjams ready for bed, so I was surprised by the fuss she was kicking up. As it seemed to be getting a little out of control I decided to go upstairs and lend some moral support.
Now, when you buy shortie jimjams for little girls, they come with long tape loops sticted into the shorts so that they can be displayed nicely on the hanger in the shop. These loops serve no other purpose - least of all as handy braces to be hooked over your child's shoulders to stop the shorts falling down.
