The Rubbish Parent

Summer Break Week 3 - Swimming and Sums.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:18:56 +0100

Jess started a two week intensive swimming course on Monday. With so many swimming pools / bayous / flood areas and alligator infested swamps, it seems prudent to make sure that she learns to swim as soon as possible. Her self confidence is at exactly the right level for this now, and she's been completely unphased by swimming under water and so on. One of the aims of the course is to teach the kids to turn onto their backs and float if they fall into water, and after five half hour sessions she's already able to do this for a minute or so. She's enjoying the lessons so much that we will definitely be signing her up for ongoing weekly lessons when this intensive course finishes. I'm also thinking about taking Emma along to the parent and toddler session when Jess goes back to school.

At the back of the house we have a screened sun room, which we've converted into a play area for the kids. It has a concrete floor they can chalk on, is bug proof, nicely shaded and most importantly has a large drain hole in the middle so we can set up the paddling pool and water play table with impunity. It'll be even bigger when I figure out how to turn on the ceiling fan that's out there. You would not believe how grubby two kids can get with a bucket of water and a box of sidewalk chalks. Really. It's as if they've been daubing each other with tribal war paints.

Since the holidays started Jess has been busy reading and this week she hit the magic twenty books needed to qualify for a reading club trophy AND had read another twenty books to Emma so that she could have a trophy too. Jess was very proud when we went to the library to collect the trophies and certificates. Emma is pretty oblivious to the trophy on her shelf, but has a new habit of finding a book then plunking herself down on Jess's lap and demanding a story.

The swimming lessons take out a fair chunk of the day, so we haven't done any trips out this week. Instead there's been lots of pottering at home. Jess has done quite a bit of stuff on the computer - some K/1st grade puzzles, and she's also really enjoying playing the I-Spy Fantasy game. They've both been doing lots of dancing, thanks to AppleTV and YouTube. The favourite at the moment is this one:

Jess is also ploughing through lots of 1st grade 'quiz' books that her teacher had recommended and were on the shelf upstairs. The Time & Money one is getting lots of attention as she's determined to show us that she's grown up enough for a watch. Of course, it's all in Merkin, so I shall have to be careful to make sure that she's fully acquainted with shillings and florrins and threepenny bits. We've been reading about different ways of telling the time and we're planning to have a go at some of the sundials here.

Emma has taken to wandering round the house clutching Jess's pink, jewel studded 'Princess' hand bag, which she fills with precious items (lego, her toothbrush, my alarm clock, the teeny weeny controller for the AppleTV).

Jess also had a moment of revelation - we went to the Cheesecake Factory for tea, and Jess was looking at a three by five grid of pictures in their menu. First of all she worked out that 3 x 5 =15, which I thought was pretty neat for a four year old. Then, having counted the pictures in twos, she announced triumphantly that 7.5 x 2 = 15.

Next week, calculus.

Summer Break Week 2 - Chillin'

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 06:05:47 +0100

After the previous week's hectic activity, we definitely dropped the pace this week.

Having signed up for the Summer Reading Club at the library, we went along on Monday to borrow some books. It was absolutely packed! Now I know where all the Sugar Land kids go during the holidays. It was as if the locusts had descended, and the shelves were looking remarkably bare. No Curious George books, no Arthur books, no Clifford books. Jess and Emma found some picture books, then Jess had a look through the 'yellow' books and found a few that she thought she'd like to have a go at. In all we came back with around 15 books. I doubt they'll last us a week.

Jess has also been busy reading so that she could qualify for a free book from Barnes and Noodle. All she had to do was read 8 books, fill in the form then take it along to the store and select the book she'd like. Technically this is an offer for kids in 1st grade or higher, but as Jess easily reads at 1st grade level I figured she may as well have a go. I may have inadvertently omitted to fill in the bit of the form that asked what grade she was in, but no one seemed to mind. A very helpful lady in the store showed Jess the selection of books that she could choose from, and suggested that perhaps she might like one of the early reader books they had on offer. I think she was a bit taken aback when Jess said no thank you, those books were too easy for her now, and she would like a proper book. She picked Clementine by Sara Pennypacker, which I think we will read together as a bedtime book.

On Tuesday we hit the Sugar Land branch of The Childrens' Museum, which had just opened for the summer in the town square. They had an excellent maths exhibition, where both Emma and Jess really enjoyed the hands on exhibits. In particular there was one where they had to complete parts of a circuit using special rods, which demonstrated equivalent fractions. We've just started to play some fraction games at home, so Jess really enjoyed testing her knowledge and mixing two quarter length rods with a half length rod to turn the lights on. The other half of the museum was given over to an exhibition about Vietnam (all cultural stuff, no mention of the war). One of the activity stations was face painting, and Emma had obviously been paying close attention to what was going on here as she kept absconding and climbing up on the chair. In the end I relented and let her loose with the face paints. The result was frankly terrifying. I really should have taken my camera with me. Still, she obviously enjoyed herself.

Wednesday and Thursday were a blur of various craft activities, including the production of numerous ballerina pencils. Jess had a go at a sticky mosaic and loved it. Definitely an activity we'll take along for the plane journey to/from the UK. Emma had a lot of fun with a box of foam stickers which she mostly stuck to herself, and she also 'helped' Jess with some colouring. They are both really benefiting from all the extra time together. I'm constantly amazed at how well they play together, Emma really does seem to join in with whatever crazy game Jess has come up with, and all credit to Jess for the way that she involves her little sister. She's really reaping the rewards now as I often find that Emma has gone to snuggle up with Jess while they're playing, and gives her lots of kisses and cuddles. Nothing could make Jess happier.

Thursday night was our last chance to spend some time all together as Geoff was off to the UK on Friday, so we went out for a meal. Jess had a Fathers' Day gift and was under strict instructions not to give anything away.

"Daddy, this bag hasn't got your present in it."

I despair.

On Saturday we tried out a new (to us) park and watched some skateboarding and a bit of Little League practice. Jess wants to see a girls' softball game so I'll have to find out where the local league plays and take her along to watch a match. On Sunday we took ourselves along to the zoo - the advantage of going on a Sunday is that most of Houston is at church then so everywhere else is pretty much deserted. I wasn't sure if a day at the zoo would really be ideal given the temperatures, but as we have zoo membership I figured that we could just go along for an hour or two and not have to worry about getting the most out of the entry fee. In the end we stayed much longer - Jess made full use of the splash area in the childrens' zoo, and there are plenty of blissfully air conditioned buildings to dip into. There's also a fair bit of tree cover so it's easy to find shade. Fog machines were dotted all around the zoo, so whenever we came to one we'd stand in front of it for a few minutes to cool down. I think that made a huge difference for Emma who struggles more with the heat than the rest of us. We also enjoyed some excellent keeper talks, and Jess got to stroke a blue tongued skink. It was such a good day that we're already thinking of going back next Sunday.

Summer Break Week 1 - Flowers

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:25:48 +0100

Monday
Despite not having to be up at the crack of ridiculous, the girls were both wide awake by 7am, and Jess in particular was raring to go. We hit the local playground before it became so hot that we risked third degree burns from the play equipment, and spent a good couple of hours there before we started to flag. Emma and Jess really engage in games together now, which mostly seem to involve chasing one another and singing the Indiana Jones theme tune.

We headed home and while Emma slept Jess and I swam - well, Jess swam, I lounged around in the floaty thing throwing Barbie to the far reaches of the pool so that she could be heroically rescued. After lunch we headed out for essential supplies - carnations for the flower experiment that Jess has been itching to do. We also went native and bought a Radio Flyer wagon. I really liked the metal ones, but due to aforementioned heat we plumped for a plastic one with two seats and a canopy.Back home again to start the flower experiment, and to assemble the wagon. This proved to be an instant hit, and I think Emma would have happily slept in it given half a chance. I signed both girls up for the Summer Reading program at the local library, and we prepared some shredded paper ready for paper making the next day.

Tuesday

Jess raced downstairs as soon as she woke up, gave me a quick kiss, then pushed me aside to see how the carnations were coming along. The wagon kept them both occupied for most of the morning - Emma insisted on being served her snack and milk in it. Jess made a start on her summer journal, and when Emma slept we finished the excellent Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. In the afternoon some friends came to play.

Once they had gone Jess made a start on her flower fairy cottage and we got the paper making kit out. It turned out to be the some of the most expensive paper ever made. I'd been pretty sceptical about the rather flimsy mixer that was supplied in the kit, and I was right. It was rubbish. Instead, we got the immersion blender out. That lasted just long enough to thoroughly mash one bowl of paper pulp before the motor burnt out. Oops. Jess made lots of heart shaped pieces of paper and we put them outside to dry.

After that Jess wanted to do some sums so I found a couple of pages in a 1st grade book for her to do, which she polished off with no trouble at all. Emma insisted on doing the same (she won't be fobbed off with toddler versions of activities, she wants to be just like her sister) so I copied a couple of sheets and gave them to her along with a pot of bear counters. Very entertaining to watch her studiously arranging bears into groups, 'counting' them ("Dah, dah, dah, dah, DAH!") then scribbling on the paper.

Wednesday

We made fruit cake for Geoff (we had to test it as well, of course) then Jess went into the garden to collect flowers for the flower press. We dissected a rose and looked up the names for all different parts. Jess wanted to do some writing and ploughed through several pages of 1st Grade Phonics Vowels. She finds it pretty easy but it gives her good practice at spelling words. She also dug out Peter and Jane 2C and did a few pages from that.

In the afternoon the pace slowed (at last!) and we just had fun upstairs in the playroom. I think it's taking Jess a while to get used to not being at school and constantly engaged in 'work'. We read a few books together, including a couple of pages of P & J as Jess wants to get to level 8 before she goes back to school. At bedtime we made a start on Dr Dolittle - it's an abridged version, which usually I would steer clear of, but seems to be well written. I think that in 6 months from now Jess would be able to read it on her own comfortably.

Thursday

A nice lazy day. Both girls spent lots of time playing with the Wedgits and Lego. Emma has firmly entered the 'mountain goat' phase of toddler hood, and I spent most of the day retrieving her from table tops, bookcases, stairs and pretty much anything else that she could find to increase her potential energy. We're going to have to figure out how to fit a gate to the bottom of our peculiarly shaped stairs very soon. While Emma was sleeping Jess swam again, then made a 3D poster of a flower. She also helped me write a list of things that we would need for our Friday trip.

Friday

We left the house fairly early for a trip to Mercer Botanic Garden and Arboretum. It was a hot, hot day but there was plenty of shade under the pine trees. We had a great time exploring the gardens, looking for trolls, fighting dragons and rescuing damsels in distress. I can't quite believe that there's no entry fee, it really is a bit of a find.

We headed off to the play area for lunch, where both girls had a great time. Emma horrified the Purell mothers at the next table by rolling in the mulch, rubbing it into her hair etc. She was a truly filthy and happy kid by the time she'd finished.

Jess spent a lot of time trying out the climbing wall. She didn't quite make it to the top but she's definately getting the hang of it now. Of course, Emma wanted to try that too, but wasn't quite tall enough to reach the next set of holds so could only get a few inches off the ground. We left just in time to dodge a huge thunderstorm, and both girls slept most of the way home.

Round Up

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 04:32:00 +0100

A couple of weeks ago now, at the end of May, Jess finished her first year of full-time school. To say that it went well would be an understatement. It's been better than we dared hope for. She's loved every minute of it, soared academically and gained (possibly too much!) self confidence. We've agonised over whether to she should skip a grade or even two, but in the end decided to let her stay with her peers. There's plenty we can do to feed that hungry mind without sitting her in a classroom with a pile of worksheets. Think broadening, rather than stretching.

Aside from the usual lessons Jess does at school - Colouring In 101, Play Doh 101, that sort of thing - she also goes to dance class once a week. For a while now they've been working hard towards the Big Show. Costumes we ordered months (and months) ago, and finally arrived, along with strict instructions that hair should be worn in a bun.

Drat.

Just two days earlier, Jess had had her long her trimmed to a short bob for the hot summer months here in the swamp. In desperation I scoured the shops for the strongest gravity defying hairspray and styling gel I could find, along with a hairnet and a box of 50 hair grips. General advice was not to wash her hair for a couple of days before, as clean shiny hair would be even less compliant. There was to be a full dress rehearsal on the Friday, when formal photographs would be taken, so I'd have to perfect my hair styling technique in time for that.

You would not believe how much spray and gel were needed to get her hair to look like this.

They danced to My Favourite Things from The Sound of Music, and I was absolutely amazed to see how Jess threw herself into it, singing and dancing her heart out. If you'd asked me back in September when we arrived here I'd have put money on Jess being the kid who would be overcome with last minute nerves and have to be dragged on stage, where she'd spend the entire number motionless with her hands clamped over her eyes. She's done a lot of growing up.

But on the inside she's still this crazy kid, who hopscotched up and down the platform at Kemble as we waited for the train to take us to London, and looked for mermaids in the fountains outside the American Embassy the day before we applied for our visas. She drives me to the brink of insanity with her incessant questions, and drags me back again with songs about two children who live on their own in a sugar factory because their parents fell down a mountain and were eaten by a giant. She'll invite her imaginary friends, Jeremy and Jemima, to come to tea, then look at me as if I'm a complete idiot when I offer to set a place for them. "They're not REAL, Mummy."

Don't grow up too fast, kiddo. There's plenty of time for that later.

Diplomatic Relations

Wed, 28 May 2008 02:52:27 +0100

I think we're going to have to cut down on how much TV Jess is watching.

It's not the programs that are necessarily the problem - it's the commercials. Oh, how I miss CBeebies and CBBC, those thoroughly British havens of advert-free programming for kids.

Jess has taken to quoting lines from commercials recently. If she's not telling us how much kids love pancake puffs, or that we can call XYZ to consolidate our loans, she's telling us that 'someday she's going to disrupt conventional thinking'. All this is innocent enough but I think she has finally overstepped the mark.

A couple of days ago I was in Barnes and Noble with both children in tow, picking up a couple of books to read with Jess at bedtime. We reached the checkout, and found ourselves behind a man.

Not just any man.

A very, very, VERY big man. And I don't mean vertically. A man who may very well have eaten ALL the twinkies.

Emma and Jess were jabbering away, and Mr Big turned round and smiled at them. Jess looked straight back at him and said...

"Diets don't work, but Weightwatchers does."

Re:evolution

Wed, 14 May 2008 03:35:44 +0100

A couple of months ago we spent a very agreeable day at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, where Lucy had taken up temporary residence.

Being parents of a scientific background, with our feet planted firmly in the Natural Selection camp, this was an ideal opportunity to discuss evolution, mutation, natural selection, origin of life and so on with Jess. None of that 'creationism' or 'intelligent design' claptrap in THIS household, thankyouverymuch. Somewhere along the line we seem to have delved into genetics. Jess is fascinated by the fact that she is able to roll her tongue, though I can't.

Anyway, I'm digressing a little. Four and nearly-a-half year olds don't have the same developed concept of time as adults. Jess knows how long a minute or an hour or day or a week, but beyond that she's struggling. People fall into 3 age categories - children, grown ups and "really old" people. She can understand that Granny and Gramps are her Daddy's mum and dad, but even though she knows that they were once children, she just can't get her brain around it. I imagine it's a bit like the problem I have trying to visualise infinity.

She's been thinking about this whole evolution shebang a lot recently, , and came down to breakfast the other day and announced that "Granny and Gramps used to be blobs. Then they were fish. Then I think they were lizards and alligators and dinosaurs and stuff and then they were monkeys and apes and ate a lot of bananas and then they grew into Real People".

Might need to do a bit more work on this one.

Mother's Day or Why Being an Unconventional Parent is Fun.

Mon, 12 May 2008 03:46:55 +0100

Today was Mother's Day in the America.

Many will have received home-made cards (I did).

Many will have received flowers (I did).

Many will have been taken out for lunch (I was).

Some may even have received a hand painted plate (I did).

But I bet there aren't many mums who got one of these today (I did).

As the germ in a seed grows

Fri, 2 May 2008 03:44:40 +0100

Driving back from an evening with friends...

Jess: Mummy, my tummy hurts.

Me: What's wrong? Do you need the toilet?

Jess: No. I think it's got an egg in it.

Me: *puzzled* Egg? But you haven't eaten any egg.

Jess: No, Mummy. A tummy egg. Silly.

Me:...

Jess: It feels really big. I think it might be an ostrich one. *starting to panic a little* I think it's too big to come out of my mouth OR my bottom.

Once we got home I tucked Jess up in bed with a hot water bottle and reassured her that she'd feel much better in the morning. Of course, being a Mother and All Knowing, I was right.

Me: How's your tummy egg this morning.

Jess: Hmm. It's all better now. I think it must have got scrambled or something.

Special prize to whoever gets the title connection first. If I don't eat it before then.

Dressed in Yella

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:38:42 +0100

I arrived to collect Jess from school a little early the other day, just in time to overhear a conversation with her teacher.

Jess: My mummy makes me wash all the floors.

Teacher: Really?

Jess: Yes, I have to do it on my hands and knees. And she gives me bread and water for my tea and makes me sleep in the cupboard under the stairs.

Teacher:...

Jess: And one time I was going to go to a party but she ripped my dress up and said I wasn't allowed to go.

This was where I stepped in and pointed that in fact we had been playing Cinderella that day.

*waits nervously for the call from Child Protection Services*

Six months in a leaky boat

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:47:46 +0100

We've made it through the first six months since our arrival in the US. In that time we've bought 2 cars, a house, a huge TV and numerous other things that work in America but probably won't work in the UK. We've painted several rooms, but still have lots more to do. I have grappled successfully with American plumbing and wiring. I still don't have a Social Security number. Our cars remain undented, which is a miracle for anyone living in Texas.

Jess has started school and loves it. She's leaping ahead in reading to level 5 of 'Peter and Jane' (Peter is still climbing trees - there's speculation in this house that he grew up and changed his name to Swampy). She does sums 'for fun' (gets that from her Dad) and knows more about American history than I do. She's starting to sound Texan.

Geoff is at home more than he has been in years, though neither of us think that will last very long. He's bucked the trend and lost over a stone since we moved here. Jess says she thinks it may be down the back of the sofa.

And Emma? Remember that little baby that slept in a suitcase when we first arrived here? She spends her days chatting - 'Daddy', 'Jess', 'No', 'Peepo' - and cruising around the furniture. She's turning into a bit of a water baby.

The boat may have been a little bit leaky when we arrived but it's weathered the storms and is sailing into calmer waters.